They tell me think with my head, not that thing in my chest...
I have a tendency to always think with my head and not my heart. The old, younger me always followed my heart but the second time around has been much different. I read every article, book and want to do everything right. I don't want to get hurt and most certainly don't want to let my boys feel pain. I've slowly walked a fine line with them, providing them just enough information to get them thinking but not enough to worry them.
Everyone and I mean EVERYONE has an opinion on how I should be handling my personal life and my boys. Some have suggested that I maybe sending the wrong message by not pushing the issue of my boys. I wanted to be completely certain about him before meeting my boys. In my mind its a huge step. I know that many people think of it as a casual thing... not me! I also understand that fully loving someone means loving all of them including their children. I'll admit that it is a bizarre feeling to feel like you know so much about someones children (likes, dislikes, personalities...I'm making mental notes of it all) but not really know them.
Overthinking things has to be one of my biggest faults. I've worked really hard on trust and believing that someone won't hurt me the way I've been hurt in my past. I have to remind myself there are good men out there. I would never hurt someone the way I've been hurt therefore I have to trust. Part of falling is trusting and having faith. I have that trust and faith in him, so here is to this next year... following my heart and not always thinking with my head.
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