That HUG...

That HUG is what got you here today... I think it almost lost you forever.  Let me start from the beginning... I'm a person who likes my own space, I'll invite you in for a hug depending on my comfort level.  I DON'T go around hugging everyone, especially someone I just met a couple hours earlier.  This should actually make you feel better about the kind of person that I am.  Let me actually clarify...I'll wrap my arms around a child that's hurting or needs comfort upon first meeting them.  Another mom might also get the softer side earlier.  But, a first date would be a long shot to get a hug!!!  So maybe you're wondering why this is even a topic in my life.  Simple...It's an ongoing inside joke with Geoff and I.  I don't think there is a time when he doesn't mention it...EVER.  I secretly kind of enjoy it!  Let's start by defining what a hug is and when and whom you might hug, then i'll share about our FIRST hug.

Wikipedia's definition...A hug is a form of endearment, universal in human communities, in which two or more people put their arms around the neck, back, or waist of one another and hold each other closely. If more than two persons are involved, it is referred to as a group hug.

The origin of the word is unknown but two theories exist. The first is that the verb "hug" (first used in the 1560s) could be related to the Old Norse word hugga, which meant to comfort. (What comfort would have i been sending???) The second theory is that the word is related to the German word hegen which means to foster or cherish, and originally meant to enclose with a hedge.

A hug, sometimes in association with a kiss, is a form of nonverbal communication.  Depending on culture, context and relationship a hug can indicate familiarity, love, affection, friendship brotherhood or sympathy. A hug can indicate support, comfort, and consolation, particularly where words are insufficient. A hug usually demonstrates affection and emotional warmth, sometimes arising from joy or happiness when reunited with someone or seeing someone absent after a long time. A non-reciprocal hug may demonstrate a relational problem. (This may have been where i went wrong)  A hug can range from a brief one second squeeze, with the arms not fully around the friend to an extended holding. (This maybe what happened and where the misunderstanding stems from)The length of a hug in any situation is socially and culturally determined. In the case of lovers, and occasionally others, the hips may also be pressed together. (This was not happening!!! I just met you!!!) The emotionality of the hug furthermore influences the direction of the hug. In deeply emotional contexts, hugs tend to be more left-sided compared to hugs in neutral situations such as greetings. 

Unlike some other types of physical contact, a hug can be practiced publicly and privately without stigma in many countries, religions and cultures, within families, and also across age and gender lines, but is generally an indication that people are familiar with each other. (Talking for a couple hours isn't familiar for me) Moving from a handshake (or touch-free) relationship to a hug relationship is a sign of a closer friendship such as best friends. (I totally got there, just not on the first date!)

Doc this facts for you... Hugging has been proven to have health benefits. One study has shown that hugs increase levels of oxytocin and reduce blood pressure.  Based on significant research indicating that a 20-second-or-longer hug releases oxytocin.  Leo Buscaglia encourages people to hug for 21 days consecutively and to have each day a hug that lasts for a minimum of 21 seconds. He recommends "getting lost in the hug", encouraging people to slow down and "use the power of the hug to be fully present in the moment"   Thank you Wikipedia for all the background info... I had no clue!

So, back to how we got here... 

I have been accused of giving the worst first hug EVER!!! If my memory serves me correctly it was a weak Side hug (He insists that it included a pat on the back) but to defend myself I didn't really know him.  I thought he was a great guy and knew I wanted to see him again.  And man did he make me work for that 2nd date!!! But that's just who I am. Let it state for the record that i Kissed him first! So take that... I wouldn't change anything about the way things happened and glad I stayed true to myself and the process I was comfortable with.  There is a good chance he will NEVER let me live that hug down!!!

As silly as this post might be it just clarifies that one shouldn't read to much into anything, especially a hug. 

xoxo