Cards

Today started with me making a list of all the things I needed to get done by the end of the day.  (Blogging was not on that list but I felt the need to take the break) I needed to fill out all the registration forms for the boys next school year, follow up on some PTA stuff, grocery shop, work on party details (The party is less than a week away) pay bills, make copies of some documents, go for a run maybe even a bike ride and last but not least  purchase CARDS.

A little fact about me is that I LOVE mail, I love receiving a card in the mail or the thought of the joy someone else may feel receiving a card from me.  May is a very busy month with Mothers Day and LOTS of Birthdays (Just another plug for mine)  

Some cards are easy to pick out and you find them quickly without any work.  Others are not as easy.  I might like what part of one card says and then like part of another.  I might want to take my sharpie and cross out certain words or phrases all together.  For example mothers day cards can be tricky for me.  On the other hand i quickly picked out my sisters Birthday and Mothers day cards without any trouble at all.  She's easy, she won't over think the words and know its coming from a place of love.  Then you have that Birthday relationship card.  Oh Lord help me!  Where is the I really like you, I really like how this feels, I look forward to where this is headed but NO, these cards profess undying love, and beg for marriage.  I'm not heartless, I have these feelings i just don't think throwing them at someone in a card is really the way to do it. Opening these types of cards made me feel anxiety. Needless to say I still have some card shopping to do. So, on that thought don't be surprised if the next time you open a card from me you see sharpie all over it!!!

Meghan Trainor - No Excuses

Nope...NONE

MB 2.0

It's been one of those weekends.  Pure exhaustion weekends.  Josiah is in the full swing of baseball and is a natural in my opinion.  Saturday was practice and Sunday was an extra baseball clinic.  I love that my sweet middle little loves the game and has the passion in his heart.  I've also had a few new developments that have left me feeling overwhelmed and emotional.  As i sit and watch my middle practice his heart out i'm fighting back the tears from being exhausted.  Things were not intended to be like this.  It was meant to be a team effort not me running the boys around from activity to birthday party on to make them practice for their math, spelling or whatever else need they have.  I run ragged after my boys.  (i did manage to fit in a barre class this morning only to get my but kicked, that couldn't have helped... ha)  I live for my boys, I work for them just to hopefully make their lives better and maybe a bit easier/happier.  I have no fall back, I am their fall back.

Somehow I manage to make it all work and juggle it all.  But, sometimes I hit the wall.  I know I can have it all and I have to do whats best for me but some days i just want something to give.  Maybe i don't want it all if its this hard, is it all going to be worth it???  I guess its just been one of those wall hitting weekends.  One of those weekends when i'm so exhausted that I just want to put the boys to bed so i can get in the shower and cry.  Cry it all out, cry the exhaustion from my body and then start fresh tomorrow with a smile on my face.  

I love everything about my life, don't get me wrong i'm blessed beyond blessed.  But, some days that mountain seems to big to climb.  The hardest part about being alone is just not having someone to turn to.  Just to hear those simple words, don't worry its all going to be okay.  I don't want anyone to solve my problems just to reassure me that no matter what it will all be okay.  After chatting with a good friend she said those words I needed to hear.  She said MB you've climbed some pretty big mountains and ever overcome things most people haven't, you've got this.  You may not have done this before but you can,  Think of it as MB 2.0
I've also started reading a new book which i think is making me a tad emotional.  I won't be reading it before bed tonight.  But, instead I'll watch some ridiculous reality tv.

Pure Barre

This past week I started my new workout routine.  I've been running for way to many years (With the add of weights and a workout video)  I decided it was time to try something new.  And...what better time than right before summer and swimsuit season.  On Monday I attended my first pure barre class, it was intense and pushed me to a new level.  The pain I felt the next two days only got me excited about my return on Friday. Their concept is simple utilize the ballet barre to perform small isometric movements.  Most people freak out when they feel their muscles start to shake but, this actually means that your muscles are reaching the point of fatigue, which is actually a good thing! The plan is to continue to run daily with the add of pure barre 2-3 times a week.  Summer is just around the corner with just 7 weeks of school left for myself and the boys.  Bring on the sun, pool and bikinis...