Wednesday, September 28, 2016
I am the positive
It's been one of those few days. I smile, say positive things and love harder and deeper for others. They say they're just words. But, when someone knows more about you than anyone else they know how to hurt you deeper than anyone else.
The last couple weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions. I've gone back and forth about whether to write about this or not and well... i think i'm ready. My first and original Chicago friend of 15 years and i have decided to call it quits on our friendship. This maybe for the best in the end. Some of the choices she has made the past two years have torn me apart.
Let me start by saying that she was incredibly supportive and had my back with every decision i have made over the past 3 plus years. She's never judged me or told me what to do. So, in return I've tried to do the same. But, this continues to create tension in our relationship.
About two years ago she decided to start a relationship with a man that told her he was separated. Then it came out that he was not separated but instead he was very married and moving into a new home with his wife. The relationship continued and still does to this day.
My question is why? I asked a good friend and he told me this... "it's safer. less commitment and less need to take care of them. You get your needs for companionship met without having to partner." The destruction this type of relationship creates is never ending. It tears people and families apart. It leaves scars deeper than one could imagine. It's selfish. Who would settle for this... you're worth SO much more. I just hope she knows this and whatever she wants out of life she finds.
I've had some nasty words thrown my way recently and i know they're just a part of anger but... they still hurt me. So, i'll smile, say positive things and love harder and deeper for others. The tears will fall behind closed doors when i am alone. Because... i am the positive.
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