It's always better when we're together. I could have never imagined the twists and turns my journey would take. But, in my current state I couldn't be happier and more content.
I'm sitting here in my kitchen, dinner is cooking the boys are watching a show i've asked them not to watch only 100 times and my basement is a disaster. BUT, today the boys played nicely, working together and were creative. I was able to get some work done for the upcoming school year. As the weeks get closed the first day jitters are becoming excitement for what this next year holds.
When I look back at where I was just 6 years ago my life has completely changed. I think for the first time in a very long time I can say I feel content (with only a few minor worries, and yes, i've said this before but the contentedness just grows) I can't control the bigger picture but I can sit back pray and stay positive. Look where it has brought me today. This time of year is always hard for me. I still can't help but fall to my knees when I think about that night almost 6 years ago. It's something i'll never fully rid from my mind the images will forever be in my head. The fear of not knowing what i'd do and how i'd move forward. But, look I've moved forward and I have so much to be thankful for. I have three incredible, sometimes challenging but always loving boy that I get to call my own. I see moments of them cheering each other standing together and my heart is filled. Those are the moments that I feel like all the hard days are worth it. I have met someone who brings me more joy than I could have imagined possible at this stage in my life. I felt completely broken and wasn't sure it was possible. I don't know where our journey will take us, and I know it wont be easy. But, I truly feel like I am better with him in my life. Therefore better together. (God I pray he sees it too) I have an opportunity to again make a difference in the lives of littles lives. Loving and nurturing children that are not my own has to be one of my greatest God given gifts. I'm super excited about this adventure starting September 3rd.
I have become this person I didn't even know existed. I'm more confident, loving and physically at my best. I not only have a passion for my children and everything they do but a passion for myself. A happy mama is a better mama. And for the first time ever I believe that my boys see my happy and are okay with the changes.
