MB 2.0

It's been one of those weekends.  Pure exhaustion weekends.  Josiah is in the full swing of baseball and is a natural in my opinion.  Saturday was practice and Sunday was an extra baseball clinic.  I love that my sweet middle little loves the game and has the passion in his heart.  I've also had a few new developments that have left me feeling overwhelmed and emotional.  As i sit and watch my middle practice his heart out i'm fighting back the tears from being exhausted.  Things were not intended to be like this.  It was meant to be a team effort not me running the boys around from activity to birthday party on to make them practice for their math, spelling or whatever else need they have.  I run ragged after my boys.  (i did manage to fit in a barre class this morning only to get my but kicked, that couldn't have helped... ha)  I live for my boys, I work for them just to hopefully make their lives better and maybe a bit easier/happier.  I have no fall back, I am their fall back.

Somehow I manage to make it all work and juggle it all.  But, sometimes I hit the wall.  I know I can have it all and I have to do whats best for me but some days i just want something to give.  Maybe i don't want it all if its this hard, is it all going to be worth it???  I guess its just been one of those wall hitting weekends.  One of those weekends when i'm so exhausted that I just want to put the boys to bed so i can get in the shower and cry.  Cry it all out, cry the exhaustion from my body and then start fresh tomorrow with a smile on my face.  

I love everything about my life, don't get me wrong i'm blessed beyond blessed.  But, some days that mountain seems to big to climb.  The hardest part about being alone is just not having someone to turn to.  Just to hear those simple words, don't worry its all going to be okay.  I don't want anyone to solve my problems just to reassure me that no matter what it will all be okay.  After chatting with a good friend she said those words I needed to hear.  She said MB you've climbed some pretty big mountains and ever overcome things most people haven't, you've got this.  You may not have done this before but you can,  Think of it as MB 2.0
I've also started reading a new book which i think is making me a tad emotional.  I won't be reading it before bed tonight.  But, instead I'll watch some ridiculous reality tv.