The last couple months have been a time of reflection on none other than myself.  I've accepted that no one else can make me happy but that's something I can only do all by myself.  I can't expect my children and all of their emotions (teen boys have more than I ever expected) to be in control at all times, so I have to do that for them as well.  I've also decided that surrounding myself around positive, supportive and loving people is one thing I can control.  Being a mom and a single mom at that can sometimes make one feel very lonely and sad.  Feeling like a constant failure to the little people in my life.  

The last few weeks specifically with all the ugly in the world has me feelings a bit helpless.  There is nothing I can do to prevent the ugly and keeping those closet to me safe suddenly also feels out of my control.  So, what does one do with this?  Love, and love fiercely because nothing is guaranteed in life.  I've been trying to really take life for exactly what it is.  I am blessed beyond measure and my children are blessed.  I love my job and what I get to do each day, and I think I'm actually really amazing at it. Being able to say that is huge.  My personal life isn't exactly where I thought it would be but i've decided that's okay too.

So, where does that really leave me?  Well... putting in the work to be the best mom, teacher, friend and human possible.  Knowing that I am not in control and in the blink of an eye everything can change for better or worse.  God's driving this bus and ultimately has a route in mind, he'll never leave me on the bus alone and will be there good or bad.