The 5 Love Languages

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman has to be one of my favorite books.  If you have not read the book I highly recommend it, single or coupled.  I'll give a quick overview of the 5 languages, share mine, and why I think it's important to know your own and your partners love language.  Let me start by saying that I've read this book many time.  I've read it in joyful moments, in moments of complete loss just wanting to fix things...but that leads to something much deeper.  With the passing of Valentines day love was the topic of TV shows, radio topics and even the latest movie releases. While listening to the radio as I made breakfast for my boys the book The 5 Love Languages came up.  Now i was listening to a Christian radio station so it was fitting, but they were talking about the new app that was created to help you figure out what your love language is and how to connect with your Love. The app is directly connected to the book and is called Love Nudge.  So of course once the boys were at school I found it... more on those results later.
The definitions are taken directly from the Love Nudge App...

Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation

Actions don't always speak louder than words.  If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you.  Hearing the words, "I Love You" are important - hearing the reasons behind the love sends your spirits skyward.  Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.  Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.

Love Language #2: Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, "I love you," like full undivided attention.  Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there- with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby - makes your significant other feel truly special and loved.  Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.  Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.

Love Language #3: Receiving Gifts

Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of the gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness and effort behind the gift.  If you speak this language the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous-so would the absence of everyday gestures.  Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.

Love Language #4 Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floor really be an expression of love?  Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighting on an "Act of Service" person will speak volumes.  The words he or she most wants to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter.  Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of those acts.

Love Language #5 Physical Touch

This love language isn't all about the bedroom.  A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy.  Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder or face - they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love.  Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.  Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.

Now for my results...

My results only included 4 of the 5 love languages. When i read the definition of the missing love language in my life i'm not sure why it's missing but i would say it's not super important to me...

Coming in at #1 was Physical Touch with 33%.   #2 was Quality Time with 30%.  #3 was Words of Affirmation with 23%.  #4 was Acts of Service with 13%.  Last but i'd say certainly not least Receiving Gifts with 0%. 

I completely agree with most of my results.  When we're in public and you place your hand on my back or on my leg or even grab my hand I feel special and loved. I feel like you're completely present in the moment with me (Leading to the next) There are 1000 other ways you touch me that spark emotion and feelings of love. So therefore i agree with Physical Touch being high for me. (Just not on a first day, those is give lousy hugs)
Quality Time is important to me, but the reality of our lives is it's not super realistic. I just have to savor every minute that I do get and be completely present in those moments.  Knowing that you're listening to my every word, even the silly stories brings me closer to you.
Words of Affirmation are always helpful, especially when I need reassuring, and need to feel that connection to you during times of busyness. We all struggle with insecurities and knowing someone we love loves us back regardless of those short comings goes a long ways.
Acts of Service helps me feel loved simply because as much as i might think i'm super woman some days I can't do it all.  I'm terrified and overwhelmed some days and need help.  I think I need to remind myself that a little more often.
Receiving Gifts comes in last but surly doesn't go unnoticed.  Whether its a weed whacker or a beautiful necklace...those are both gifts with thought a love behind them.  The one says girl you've got this and can handle more than you realize and the other reminds me you're with me daily even if not physically.

I think that to feel fully loved we need all of those things, some more than others.  I think that knowing your significant others love language helps you to speak to them and grow closer to them.  Times are not always going to be easy and some days it might be a choice to love rather than a feeling.  But for me it's the commitment of love and friendship that leads to the finish line.  Our journey may not look exactly like we thought it would but it's our's and its imperfectly perfect.
If you get a chance i'd suggest reading the book or downloading the app.  It has a feature where you can send a request to your significant other so you can connect and grow deeper in love.