The Holidays and Single Parenting...

As a single parent the holidays are never easy.  With Thanksgiving just 2 short weeks away it starts again.  This will be the 3rd Thanksgiving i'll watch my children walk out that door and myself back into a empty quiet home.  With all my family out of town traveling isn't an option at this time of year because i don't want to take the boys from their father.  But, where does that leave me?  It has made me create a family here locally.  I already have a ton of invites to Thanksgiving but it's still hard.  Walking in is never easy.  If i'm honest i thought it would be different.  

Thanksgiving used to be one of my favorite holidays to host.  I'd start planning the menu weeks in advance giving attention to every detail.  I'd have place cards made and decorations by the boys up.  I took joy in it all.  Now, there is just a different feeling.  But, my hope and prayer is that i'll get some of that back eventually in the near future.  I still love doing all those things i just need a reason to do them.

Once Thanksgiving passes Christmas quickly follows.  The boys and i usually put up our decorations rights after Thanksgiving.  Time passes to quickly.  Before i know it, it is Christmas eve.  This is a time when i create so many amazing memories with my boys.  Again the attention to detail is important to me.  The cookie decorating, the matching pajamas and tracking Santa just to name a few.  Then Christmas morning... 3 incredibly excited boys can't stay in bed a minute passed 5am.  But then again the sadness strikes.  I watch my boys walk out the door to spend the day with their dad.  Some may call me the Grinch but thats when i decide to take every last trace of Christmas down.  Out of sight out of mind.  This year i'll likely keep with the tradition of attending misfits Christmas... I kind of crash that party too, showing up alone.

I have so many incredible friends and they always keep me in mind and send me invites but unless you've watched your children walk out that door its a pain you won't understand.  

I don't want it to sound like i hate the holidays.  Because i don't, i just wish they were different.  I'm fully confident or at least slightly confident that in the near future they'll feel different. My main goal is to just make sure the boys are happy and they feel good about the holidays.