This Is Us

Let me take a moment to introduce myself.  My name is Mary Beth (Never Mary or Beth, don’t care for MB- some of you get away with it, always together Mary Beth) I’m 37 years young, mother to 3 incredible and talented boys, teacher to 16 loving Pre-Ker’s, Barre3 enthusiast and so, This Is Us!

Let me back track a little, my journey has not been at all what I thought it would be.  I guess that’s the beauty of it all.  Over 6 years ago things changed, you could even say shattered right before my very eyes. I dropped to my knees quickly trying to pick up all the pieces, trying to put the puzzle back together.  I smiled, hid the bruises (both physical and emotional), loved harder than ever and prayed my life would go back to what I thought it was.  But, that’s just it… it was never what I thought.  I loved my family, I wanted nothing more than to keep it together.  Then one day I realized no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I smiled, and that no matter how much I loved things would never be what I had envisioned. My safety, self-worth and what I would allow my children to see came first. So, in that moment I tossed all those tiny pieces into the air and decided to let them land where they did.  And I have to tell you, they’ve landed exactly where they needed.  The picture is blurry sometimes, a tad messy and I’m not sure what’s next but I’ve realized with love, faith, family and friends it always works out.  That doesn’t mean that I don’t have anxiety filled moments and fear… I’m human!

With that being said I still felt a lot of embarrassment and shame along the way.  About 4 years ago I was asked to be the cover family for our neighborhood magazine.  I remembered I responded by saying something like, do you realize I’m a single mom and that doesn’t fit your image of our neighborhood families.  I declined and said maybe in the future.  The reality was that I wasn’t ready to admit to everyone around me that I was a SINGLE mom.  I felt shame in this.  I feel like as women we get a bad rap, what did you do wrong? Why, How, couldn’t you keep it together.  I knew in my heart I did NOTHING to create this storm.  I’m not perfect but I always put my family first.

So, years later when I was approached to do the cover again, I again responded with, I think I’m open to the idea but you do realize I am a single mom.  The editor’s response was, “I love this idea.  There are other single moms in the area who might appreciate you stepping out and standing bold for exactly who you are.”  So, This Is Us! We’re perfectly imperfect.

I have to say that I’ve learned to love myself and embrace who I am in every moment.  I kind of live by, what you see if what you get.  Take it, or leave it.  Now, those words are easier said than done, but there is a lot of truth behind them.  I don’t have anything to hide; I love harder and fiercer than most. Every time I’m faced with a new challenge, somehow God sees me through.

I’m going to add this last part… This is not the end of my journey.  I know there is a beautiful future for the boys and I.  Those pieces are still a little blurry, but with love, faith, family and friends anything is possible.