If you're a parents you know that look. That look of judgement that the person who is giving it doesn't even realize they're giving it sometimes, other times they just give it to shame you! You may even give that look often yourself, unknowingly. I'm sure i'm guilt. But...I was especially guilty before I had children of my own, before I was a single mother, or even before I was honest about my truth.
I can remember being fresh out of school with my first class of my very own; and boy did i make some judgments. I was going to be such a better parent. My children were going to eat all of their vegetables and even think carrots were candy. If a child was screaming or tantruming in public I thought, YIKES! My child would never behave like that because we would have a clear understanding who the boss really was... ME of course.
Now if you're a parent you know very well that no matter how many books you read or no matter how calm you are and talk sweetly to your little love, if they want to Tantrum they're going to tantrum. The same goes with life, things are out of our control most of the time and there isn't a thing we can do about it. You can go around putting band aids on things and handing DUM DUMS to your child to silence them to take some of the embarrassment and shame away. The reality is if you're honest with yourself we've all been there. This thing called life isn't perfect, and we have to STOP judging each other. Just embrace it, and smile and give a nod the next time you see a mom struggling with her 2 year old in the grocery store or maybe even her 10 year old.
We don't know all the circumstances that brought someone to their current place in life or why that child is acting out. Not only may the mother or father be struggling with something but that child might also be dealing with an internal struggle as well. So, STOP shaming each other!
I've really learned to embrace my life as a single mother (This was something that was very hard for me at first, I thought it was like the scarlet letter) and own it with confidence (Sometimes I still feel a little out of place, but I've made great strides) But there is still that moment in a conversation when you say, oh my boys are with their dad or i don't have my boys today. The persons face freezes and they realize OH, You're DIVORCED! Yes, I am divorced and it was the one thing I said I would NEVER be. But, with that you don't know my journey, you don't know the countless times I tried to fix things, or the times I felt shame because of it. God only know what I've been through, and God only knows what they say about me. But I know what I say about myself and I'm proud of who I've become. My journey is NOT over and many chapters are still to come.
This post comes from a place of LOVE and GRACE, extend grace to those around YOU! Music has always spoken to me, in happy moments and sad moments. This song was one of the many...
I Hope they see the strength, and courage.
LOVE and LISTEN we NEED each other
No comments:
Post a Comment