Yesterday after school Micah had an orthodontist appointment. I loaded all 3 boys into the car and we were on our way. This was right after school which can sometimes be a challenging time... the boys have sat all day in school just rode a hot bus home and are hungry. We were a few minutes early so the boys started to be a bit silly in a very full waiting room. I just had to breath because this would pass and we'd be on our way soon. Micah was called back and the other two settled in. Within 20 minutes Micah was back in the waiting room and i was needed. We went to the counter to make his next appointment. There sitting on the counter was a contest for the kids to enter, what did they have to do? They had to write 'Why My Mother is the best Mother in the World" I joked with Micah, i bet you want to enter that. He gave me that look he gives me when he's thinking, really mom!?!? The girl behind the counter grabbed him a sheet and an envelope with a stamp on it and told him to take it and return it by Friday.
Tonight after dinner i saw it sitting on the counter, i was cleaning up and asked if he wanted me to save it. Again, he gave me that look. He walked over and took it out of my hand. (Just a side note, if you know anything about my relationship with Micah its be a challenge since the divorce. He has a lot of anger and it's usually directed at me. Over the last 8 months or so he's come a long way and has changed into a completely different child. He is an incredible boy but is still has times of trying to figure out how to handle his feelings about what happened to his family. I'll never say a negative word about his father to him so for now i'll continue to take the brunt when these feelings arise. This can be really hard and very painful at times. I love my children endlessly and would do anything to make them feel loved and complete. Sometimes i question myself and fear i'm not doing enough or doing it wrong. I'll never be able to give the boys what was taken from them, but i can love them and give them as much of myself as possible. I truly believe that my happiness is important for their happiness. All i can do is love them endlessly and pray that it all works itself out.) Micah went into the other room and returned 10 minutes later with a folded piece of paper and was shoving it into an envelope. I asked if i could help. He asked if i could lick the envelope because he doesn't like that part. I said, sure and told him to leave it on the counter. Now, i can't tell a fib because i was dying to know what what in the letter. What did he say? So when he went to take a shower i opened the envelope, quickly made a copy and replaced the original letter and sealed it up. The paper provided only had 10 lines so it had to be short and sweet (My child added two lines) I read the following:
Well I do not need to brag but i have the best mom ever. My mom is the PTA president, a teacher, and still finds time to spend with me and my brothers. My mom is also the best cook ever. My mom always has a way to solve the most impossible problems. Even though I may not act like it I will always love my mom.
Call me a softy but, i burst into tears. I am doing something right, my child does love me. This isn't how i saw my life but it is my life and together we're going to make the best of it. And... as the Boys and i pray every night asking for the journey before us to be the one of God's planned for us. Asking for our hearts to be opened and for those that might be on the journey with us to also have open and softened hearts. Mothers day is different now. No, flowers are sent, no cards are written but this tiny note makes up for it all. We CAN do this...Yes, we can!
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