Shakes you to the core

Sometimes, you find something that shakes you to the core.  Something that breaks you down in a way you didn't realize possible anymore.  The admission of pain, selfishness and the torture they knew you endured at the hands of someone who said they'd love you

Relationships are strange like that.  There are so many different types of relationships, all with different purposes.  The definition of a relationship is: the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

So, lets step back for a second...

This past weekend i had the pleasure of attending my baby sisters wedding.  For the record it was a beautiful day and Katie looked incredibly gorgeous.  I'm So SO proud of the women that shes become.  During the reception a speech was given and during it they spoke of being inside the inner circle of someones love.  The safety and security.  They said that now Katie is inside that circle.  It just makes me realize that if you don't have that inner circle it can be scary.

There is something about knowing that no matter what you tell someone, how you feel or act you'll always be loved. Knowing you're loved no matter what and someone always has your back. It takes a lot to break that circle.  I'm so happy for my baby sister that she's found that with Nick her new husband.

I can remember as a child just wanting to feel safe and loved.  I never wanted to shake the boat or cause waves.  I just wanted to be inside the circle. Now as an adult i have lots of circles.  They're all safe circles but none of them fully fulfill me the way i want and need.  Sometimes i wonder what that will look like and if i'll ever truly find it.  Am i already inside that circle or on the edge of entering that circle? Only time will tell but some days its harder to sit back and be patient.

Earlier today i was working on some PTA stuff and as many of you know i like to stay organized so i was creating a file.  While going through the old files and clearing out what i didn't need i found a hand written letter that brought me to tears instantly.  The words hit deep and stopped me in my tracks.  Things like this make me realize that i am an incredible person to have in someones inner circle.  My time will come!

And a side note, today i ran into one of my favorite people at swim team practice.  Its one of my friends dad... he always has a story for me and tons of advice.  Oh and he always greets me with hows the most beautiful lady i know doing on this great day?  so that helps.